When our plans for LeadHer 2019 were put on hold, I didn’t understand why but I trusted. Normally, I would be freaking out about having to postpone an event. Yet, I found peace. While doors were shutting left and right in the planning process, there was not a point where our team felt like God was shutting it down. We were being asked to wait.
I’m calling it our Selah pause. God was orchestrating some things we could have never imagined, but we needed to wait for just a little while. About two weeks ago, our team met, the topics for our meeting included LeadHer 2020. By the time we left that table, we were unified in feeling that the Lord was calling us out of the pause and into action.
What unfolded in just over a few days was beyond anything we could have expected or done on our own. Who God is bringing together for LeadHer 2020 could only have happened with that Selah pause.
Which brings us to the announcement…
LeadHer2020 is ON THE WAY. More details are to come, in the next few days!
The location? BOOKED.
Wondering where? Wondering who?
Just keep an eye out for more updates on #LeadHer2020!
Is it too early to talk about Mother’s Day brunches? Probably not. If you are a planner, like me, your fall calendar is running according to plan & your eyes are set on planning for spring.
If you would have talked to me about Mother’s Day brunches 15+ years ago, I would have told you that I love them and think they are a wonderful idea for a Women’s Ministry to host. Over the years, my opinions on this have changed.
Not Everyone Is A Mother
As I have become friends with women who have either chosen to not have children, who are still waiting to have that first child, or whom have lost a child… Mother’s Day can be a difficult occasion to celebrate. Not having a child, they often feel left out of the celebration. They may not realize their role as a Spiritual Mother in the community of believers is more than enough to qualify them for an invite. At the same time, when the speaker focuses on the joys of biological motherhood, it can be a hard event to sit through. For those who have lost a child, it can be down right painful.
Not Everyone Has a Mother
Some women are still grieving over the death of their mother. Mother’s Day is a reminder of who is not here to celebrate with. There are other women who may have had a biological mother, but her presence was either physically or mentally absent. It is hard to celebrate a relationship that didn’t exist. Also, there are women who have trauma related to their mothers and celebrating Mother’s Day is salt in the wound of the pain as they watch other mothers and daughters experiencing a joy they didn’t know.
Not Everyone Has a Daughter
Quite often Mother’s Day brunches are “Mother & Daughter” events. If your mother lives out of town or out of state, attending an event like this with our mom may not be an option. If you are also a mother of only sons, then you attend the event alone versus celebrating with your sons.
If we are not careful, Mother’s Day brunches can become a very exclusive event that leaves some of the women in our church feeling left out of not only celebrating with a particular holiday, but also fellowshipping with their sisters in faith.
Here are some practical ideas or ways to relook at Mother’s Day events to create a more inclusive event that welcomes all women from your church and community.
Be Intentional with your Speaker
When hiring or tasking a Speaker for your event, ask her to speak on a topic that is not necessarily applicable to only biological motherhood. Spiritual mothering, discipling, relationships, etc.
Consider Mother & Child Events
Instead of hosting a mother & daughter event, consider offering it as a mother and child event. Or, plan two events one for mothers & daughters and one for mothers & sons. Planning two events in one year may be too much, but a possible solution is alternating years between the two.
Change the Name of the Event
You may choose to hold the event near or on Mother’s Day but consider calling it by another name. A sisterhood event, women’s event, becomes a very inclusive event. For those who choose to celebrate by inviting their mother or daughter to attend with them as part of their Mother’s Day weekend, it’s a great opportunity to do something fun together. But, for those who struggle with Mother’s Day it becomes a fun event that doesn’t focus on motherhood but instead being a woman in Christ.
Quite often, I share with ministry leaders the importance of making sure their leadership represents the body of the church. We should also keep this in mind as we plan our events. If we focus our events on ONE particular group or type of women in the body, at the exclusion of the others, then our ministry is missing the mark.
A.K.A. : What a Secular Radio Station Taught Me About Fundraising
The Women’s Ministry Council is located in the Treasure Coast of Florida. If you travel south east of us, you will land in the Bahamas. The Bahamas have been in the news regularly since Hurricane Dorian took a slow, but devastating, stroll across their northern islands. In some areas, little if anything stands. Lives were lost. Homes were lost. And the recovery effort is going to take years.
South Floridians have a special kinship with the Bahamas. Not only do we have locals who have come to live here from the Bahamas, but it is a popular weekend vacation spot for Floridians. It was no surprise to any of us that when the Bahamas needed us, we were ready to give back the islands that are near and dear to our heart.
A popular radio station began an immediate effort to obtain donations of phyiscal goods to bring to the Bahamas. Shortly after they made a decision, they were going to hold a 48 hour fundraising drive to raise $100,000. Their morning show would run non stop for 48 hours because that is how long Hurricane Dorian hovered over the islands moving at such a slow pace that it only moved 100 miles in 2 days (100 miles = $100,000 , $1 per mile it traveled during the 48 span).
By the end of the 48 hour marathon, the radio station raised a whopping 200,000 dollars. They not only met their goal, but knocked it out of the waters. I was stunned. I can’t even raise $500 on my birthday for a good cause. I’ve watched organizations and churches try to raise funds for ministries, trips, missions, building projects, etc. Very rarely do I see these attempts result in DOUBLE their goal, particularly when the original goal is already in the 6 digits.
Here is what I learned:
- This radio show has built more than just an audience, they built a community. They are highly active and present in their community for smaller fundraising events and good causes, as well as just out right fun. People know who they are.
- The people know who they are, and the radio show knows who their people are. As they would announce donations, there would at times be little comments about who the person is and how they knew them. It showed how the connection to the community was not one sided but mutual. They are more like extended family.
- They made giving fun. Yes, this was a tragedy for the Bahamas… and they never downplayed the devastation. But, instead of playing on the emotions to fuel donations they instead emphasized their dedication to helping the recovery effort in a very fun way that allowed the givers to participate. Small donations were rewarded with song requests, larger donations were rewarded with visits to the station, on air time, and even gags like giving a pie to the face.
- The show recognized this was a special circumstance that required a special response, and they communicated the need to their audience effectively.
- The show was dedicated to total transparency on how the funds would be used, and committed to long term recovery support vs. a hit and run donation drive.
- The team had a focused target for their recovery efforts. By having a specific Bahamian community that they intended to build, it took a huge recovery effort and made it bite sized and made the undertaking less daunting.
Perhaps, we could learn a thing or two about our own fundraising efforts from how a secular radio station raised $200,000 in 48 hours.
Hurricane Dorian has devastated the Bahamas. As a Floridian, the last time I saw anything like this it was when Hurricane Andrew hit Homestead. For those of us who remember Andrew, remember Homestead, we have a deep appreciate for what the people of the Bahamas are currently going through. Loved ones are displaced. Homes destroyed. People are missing. The storm has taken lives. In our hearts we feel a deep need to do something to help.
Years ago, I had an opportunity to talk about missions with some very long term missionaries. I was surprised to hear about all of the things that we send overseas or things we do when we volunteer there… that are not only unhelpful, but actually counter productive. At some point, missions became more about US than others. It was a way to appease that part of us that wants to make a difference in the world. It became a method or tool that we as parents use to send our children off to some other place where they will be suddenly humbled in to appreciation for the life they have. This was also when I was introduced to the book When Helping Hurts. I highly recommend it for all church leaders to read before you begin missions (local and global) in your church. It will open your eyes to how we can better serve those who are in need.
Last year, a friend of mine showed me a series of pictures. It was a missions supported school in another country. In each picture you would see the same kids, in the same clothing, seated in the exact same position. However, from photo to photo the banner with the school’s name changed. Each banner reflected the name of the church or missions program that supported the school. Why? Because, it made the donors feel better to see their name on the school. This wasn’t a scam, but a way to appease the donors so that the funds kept coming to support the school & keep it running.
A few months ago, a missionary friend shared with me how church missions groups come and go to their location. She said, “This room has been painted ten times this year.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t even paint the inside of my home once per year. When I asked her why, she explained that they needed something for the visiting missions trips to do and painting was an easy project. She went on to explain that they had tried construction projects in the past, but due to the lack of experience of the people on the trip, they often had to go back and redo all the work.
I went on a missions trip several years ago. It cost me just over $1000 total. Ever since I’ve wondered how much further my money would have gone, how much more good it would have done, had I just sent $1000 to the organization that received us. That feeling has only been reinforced as I learn more and more about the other side of missions trips. As I connect with more long term missionaries who open my eyes to what is really needed and how much of what is done is a waste to simply make us feel good.
That brings me to Hurricane Dorian. The outpour of good hearted people who have a strong desire to help is heartwarming. The Bahamian Government has provided a list of it’s immediate needs (and what it doesn’t need). Locals are looking for donation drop off locations. There are quite a few Facebook groups used to keep in touch about the Hurricane & now the talk has turned to Bahamas Relief. Praise God for the generosity of humans when crisis comes! Based on my observations, here are some questions I have compiled when you consider donating goods to relief.
- Is it better to donate your stuff or your time? We all have stuff to spare, but our stuff may not be what is most needed. If you have the time to volunteer with the relief that may do more good than sending over piles of things you do not need anymore. You don’t even need to leave your home town, volunteer to work at any of the collection centers.
- Do they need your stuff or your money? There are immediate needs for search and rescue, medical care, and clean up that take precedent over comfort items. Money doesn’t cost anything to be transported to the location, it can often buy more when used by relief organizations, and they know best how to spend it. For example, getting portable water filtration systems will product the same amount of water but for less cost. It’s a long term solution that also doesn’t create the waste of bottled water. Please Read: After A Disaster Don’t Send Toys or Clothing, Send Money. Here’s Why.
- Is sending these items going to help or hurt? Certain items, like used clothing, are a logistical nightmare. Once received they must be cleaned, sorted, and stored. In the case of the Bahamas, there is currently no where available to store clothing, nor do they have the manpower to sort it. It could also take up valuable space for more needed supplies, or even get in the way of the relief efforts. Not tomention where does one store the loads of clothes they have been given when they lack a home to keep them in? Please Read: Best Intentions: When Disaster Relief Brings Anything But Relief
- Am I donating what THEY need or what I THINK they need? When someone has lost everything, you may think the recipients will be grateful for anything you send. You may think you know what they need, but do you really? I have a garage full of items I have been gathering up for a yard sale. All things that could help a person who lost everything get re-established. The question I need to ask before dropping off donations is whether or not that will do good TODAY. If not, then I can either hold on to the items until they do ask for those types of goods or have that garage sale but give all the money to a relief organization.
What can you do to help the Bahamas?
Pray. People are still searching for family members, mourning those who have been lost, and coming to terms with the destruction.
Give. There are great organizations like Samaritan’s Purse, The Red Cross, Convoy of Hope, etc. that are well known and established organizations. Give financially and let their expertise funnel the money where it will do the most good.
Donate. Listen to the reports on what the Bahamian Government needs and donate those items if you have them, or donate funds to purchase those items as needed. Recovery is going to take a very long time.
Volunteer. If you have expertise (recovery, building, medical, etc.) and can take some time off to volunteer… GO! Use that expertise. If not, look at how you can help locally by volunteering at local donation collection centers.
Yesterday, was August 31st. It was the very day that the WMC had planned to host our second LeadHer Conference. At the time we scheduled it, it had escaped my mind that this was right before the Labor Day holiday. After checking with our speakers, we all agreed it would probably best to reschedule. The event was cancelled, and we began looking for an alternative date. The goal was September 7th, thus is it wouldn’t be too late into the fall/holiday season.
Time after time, the doors kept shutting. There were two of us contacting locations, and it was just unfruitful. Normally, I would bet getting anxious about this type of thing. I don’t like to cancel events, and to not even follow up with a new date would over stress me. Yet, I was at an odd peace about all of it. I was trusting that when the time was right, the place was right, it would all fall into place.
I was sitting in my living room on Friday, when I realized that this would have been the weekend of LeadHer had it not been cancelled. I immediately messaged two of the women speaking.
“Wow!!! See… God knew what he was doing!!!”
“Oh the Sovereignty of our God”!!!
As leaders, we do not always know why things happen the way they do. Events may get cancelled or rescheduled. Things don’t always go according to our plan. We will be surprised by the trials and the storms. But… not God.
He knows the storms by name.
A ministry taking a break or scaling back during the summer is pretty common here. MOPS groups meeting during the school year, but take the summers off since the kids are home. Bible Study groups take a break since people are busy traveling. Women’s Ministries do not plan much for the summer, due to unpredictable attendance.
I’ve watched this happen for over twenty years, various denominations, and assorted cities in which we have lived. I thought it was a regional thing due to our hot Florida summers, but I’ve learned it is pretty common throughout the country. How did this happen?
Over the course of twenty years, I’ve noticed something … people’s vacations, life interruptions, and crisis don’t wait for summer. In fact, if I had to point out what I see as the busiest time of the year, with the most interruptions it would fall one week before Thanksgiving and through the week of New Years. Why?
Ahead of Thanksgiving you have two things happening, either you are preparing to travel for the holiday or you are preparing to host the holiday. Then once Thanksgiving has passed, you enter the Christmas season. Just like Thanksgiving, people are preparing for the holiday travel or to host guests at their home. However, unlike Thanksgiving, this season is also peppered with holiday parties thrown by friends, family, co-workers, and companies. Schools will have some sort of winter presentation (band concert, choir performance, etc.) and class parties that require shopping for supplies, dropping them off, or even attending the event with your children. In your free time, you may find yourself in the mall or local stores shopping til you drop. Even if you are shopping online, you still need to locate the gifts, receive them, and wrapping won’t elude you (unless you pay for the store to gift wrap for you). All of these holidays impact the majority of your church members. In the holiday season, we do not see a decrease in church service attendance.
Because of this, I try to make sure that our ministry events and studies wrap up prior to Thanksgiving week. Then we will have some sort of a kick off in January that will introduce our next study group topics and calendar for the coming months.
The summer, however, doesn’t have that same rush and chaos as the holiday season does. We are not feeling as stretched thin, schedule wise. Not only do we see the ministries take a break or cut back, but even Sunday service attendance decreases. In some states you might be tempted to blame good weather, especially if you are prone to long cold winters or rain filled falls & springs. However, in Florida, we almost always have good weather. In fact, our summer is so hot that many of us will do less just to avoid the heat. We relish the cooler months when they come.
Unless your kids are in certain travel sports teams, their sports have also taken a break for summer. Yes, you might have cheer camp, band camp, or a sports camp for a week or two, but typically you have the majority of the summer off.
I wonder if this is the reason we take summers off? Have we jam packed our mid Aug – May (or early June) with so much stuff that by the time summer comes it serves as a respite. We are not rushing around doing school tasks/errands and events for our kids? The concert/performance/team seasons have ended. Less kids birthday parties fall during the summer. There are no holiday parties, shy of 4th of July which may be the most low key holiday when it comes to preparation. Vacations are not accompanying a holiday, so they don’t have as much preparation or pressure.
We are just doing less during the summer, and perhaps that led to us seeing summer break like a sabbath season from the year. In addition, we are all collectively doing less. And, we enjoy the break.
The problem with summer breaks from ministry and studies is the result of having to restart the attendance habit each coming fall. It takes a while to get back into the swing of things, after a two or three months break. I also believe that as a result of the ministries and studies taking a break, people also break from Sunday services… particularly now that they can watch online from their home.
Yes, it is good for our leaders to get a break and recuperate. Rest is something that is mentioned quite often in the Bible as a good thing. It is good for all of us to get a break to stop & be still for a bit. However, we must be careful that it isn’t too long. Further, if we are actually scheduling in the breaks throughout the year then a summer break may not be necessary. For example, instead of teaching a study without a break Aug-May… intentionally scheduling a two week break between study topics/books may be enough to re-energize the leader through the next session. If you could get a short reprieve periodically throughout the year then teaching through the summer wouldn’t be as daunting. Plus, your study members would also get a break and perhaps attending throughout the summer would be more appealing.
To Recap: A possible reason for a summer break, is that we are so busy throughout the year that when summer comes, we are just done and ready to rest.
To Resolve: Schedule short breaks throughout the rest of the years, so that a summer break is not necessary.